Her words were, essentially, that when her time comes, "Let me go home to Jesus." Yesterday was her time.
We had known for a while that her days were limited. It was "for the best," as she suffered with vascular dementia and was no longer able to function properly. Still ...
I was able to visit and sit with her for about an hour in the morning. She was sleeping, unresponsive. I just wanted to be by her side for a time. I read some Bible passages to her, and sang some of our favorite hymns to her. It didn't matter whether she heard me or not. It just mattered that we were there together in that room for a time.
My sister arrived an hour or more after I had left, and called me to say that she was prepared to more or less camp out there for as long as necessary. She had been told the night before that Mom could go at any time. She called me again, maybe two hours later to say that the time was very close. I rushed over, but Mom had passed on before I got there. The two of us sat together for some time, waiting to be sure arrangements were taken care of, and to see that her body was transported properly. My sister had some of Mom's old papers and photos, a kind of snapshot of her life. Her birth, her schooling, her marriage, her divorce, her passport, her will, etc. And some of these sparked further memories. We cried a little, laughed a bit. Ladies who worked at the memory care home found their way in to say their goodbyes to my mom and offer comfort to us.
I said goodbye too, but I think I'm still trying to come to terms with it. I kept looking over, half hoping her eyes would open, and I would see one of her smiles. But those things are only treasured memories now, along with the many expressions of her love over the years. I have found much comfort in passages such as 1 Corinthians 15 (especially verses 42-58) and Romans 8 (especially verses 26-39). I have also been singing the hymn, "It is well with my soul."
On top of this, we are moving, relocating to a new area (a few hours away), and I am having trouble getting organized and packed up. At this moment I don't feel much like eating, or working, or .... But for now I need to get off the computer and get my day going. I have that hymn playing on my computer at the moment, and am finding comfort in it still.